Archive for the ‘waxing the cat’ category

Further Cat Waxing

November 11, 2009

I can’t say why I’m finding it hard to settle in to writing this morning. I feel a great need to wax the cat. So far this morning I have checked in on Facebook; decided I was bored of my profile picture and looked at the existing FB photos of me for a new one; decided that I needed more current pictures on FB; concluded that it is time to organize some sort of hugely fun outing of the sort that motivates us to take pictures and post them on FB, so I can have a new profile pic. Things aren’t bad enough that cleaning the kitchen looks like an option, but they might get there.

I think I need better things to do while waxing the cat. Suggestions?

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Stupid novelist tricks

November 7, 2009

Well, as a famous sidekick once observed, I’m back.

After really screwing myself on my fall schedule (more on that anon. Yes, I know I said that already.) I am finally back in the study, where finishing my own novel is actually the hottest project in my queue. ‘Cause, yeah, back when I said I’d publish it next May, it seemed a totally attainable deadline. Meanwhile, I have (according to the word count thingy in Power Writer, my writing program) a little more than 88K words written. I know that number’s inflated; it includes a lot of planning and previous-draft material. A better gauge is that I am a bit more than halfway, in terms of distance my characters must travel, to the midpoint of the novel. If this one has four acts (and I think they do, but I also think the first and fourth acts are more in the stage-drama than the screenplay tradition: which is to say they’re meaty) then I am in the second half of act two.

What I know is that, if this book is going to press in May, I’ve got to finish it by early December. It’s going to be interesting.

The good news: this is not a first draft. I know the story. The bad news: the previous drafts are mostly not up to my current standard, and I’m writing every scene from scratch–and, in fact, most of the scenes I’m writing are wholly new.

During the golden period when all I did was work on my fiction-writing skills, I could produce about 7 pages per day. Now, of course, I’m also running a publishing house–and I believe I need to be producing at least 10.

“Nervous” is an understatement. In fact I’m waxing the cat right now.

Off I go, then. Wish me luck.

Waxing the cat

October 28, 2008

I’m doing it right now. I’m supposed to be writing this morning, but first I simply had to pop over to Facebook to see what’s happening in my little universe, and there was a post for Russ’s periodic stint on the group blog “A Good Blog is Hard to Find”. About cat waxing.

Talk about synchonicity. I think I need to write about waxing the cat this morning.

What, some of the sane people who have mistakenly wandered here ask, is waxing the cat? How could you wax the cat? Wouldn’t the cat object? And what would be the point?

The answers, of course, are:
(a) waxing the cat is what you do when you’re supposed to be writing but are running out of good excuses why you aren’t. “I had meant to write this morning, but the sink was full of dirty dishes, the TiVo was 99% full, and I simply had to wax the cat.”
(b) If you try to wax a real cat, it’s hard. You need protective gear and some sort of cat-restraining device. Possibly one involving duck tape. Or goose tape. Whichever you can find.
(c) Yes, the cat will object. Violently. Art doesn’t come without cost.
(d) Nothing whatsoever. And that is the point.

Cat waxing is about coping with authorial insecurity. If you can’t find the time to write, you can’t be blamed for being a hack. You can die secure in the knowledge of your blazing talent, which simply never had time to be realized.

Some of us are better at this than others. I’m freaking AWESOME.

Sadly, this is a far less important accomplishment than finishing the freaking novel. I’m going back to the study…just as soon as I finish commenting on Russ’s blog post.